The Barnum Effect

I guess that intimations of mortality strike us all at various points in our lives. While growing up we see our future as a blank page rife with possibilities. Will we be singers, actors, artists, sportsmen, explorers? Perhaps more simple futures lie ahead of us? Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor, candlestick maker? While at university I suddenly noticed that I was now older than the bright young things achieving fame for their sporting or artistic endeavours. The slamming of doors echoed through my head. Not that I’d had plans in any of those directions, but still it was the moment of recognition that my life would be that of a pond-skater rather than a wave-maker. Impinging on the public eye is one way to leave a lasting impression, but in our private lives we have a myriad of effects on those around us. My imagination is rife with scenarios of raising my kids, showing them the world, giving them insights into the science and mechanics behind it, teaching them to see the complexi...

Courtesy of my iPod, from the genius of Ian Dury & the Blockheads : BUS DRIVER'S PRAYER Our Father, who art in Hendon Harrow Road be thy name, Thy Kingston come, Thy Wimbledon, In Erith as it is in Hendon. Give us this day our Berkhamsted And forgive us our Westminsters, As we forgive those who Westminster against us. Lead us not into Temple Station But deliver us from Ealing, For thine is the Kingston and the Purley and the Crawley, For Iver and Iver, Crouch End.

I was in Liverpool last Sunday for Zappa Plays Zappa. I wouldn't describe myself as a Zappa fan but I'd definitely make the effort to see Dwezil again. The show was awesome. Everyone in our group trooped back to the Liverpool apartment after the show for a natter and a nightcap. I bowed out early to get some sleep knowing I had to rise early and catch the 5:27am to London. The banter and the "whmp whmp whmp" coming through the walls from an adjacent nightclub kept me awake despite my valiant efforts. I'm sleep deprived again this Monday. An itchy rash developed behind my knees, and has spread over my legs during the course of the week. The most benign thing it could be is contact dermatitis, or stress related eczema. Less pleasant would be insect bites - bedbugs perhaps. Worst case, and hopefully unlikely, would be a misguided autoimmune response triggered by a tumour. Perhaps I've seen too much House MD; it's one of the favourites from their differential ...

We have had a pretty dry spring and summer so far, all corrected in the last hour by torrents of the wet stuff being flung from the heavens along with thunderbolts and lightning. ♪♫♪ "Very very frightening me." ♫♪♫ Ahem. Got a little carried away there. The dog is glued to my heel, and the cat is hiding in the basement. The afternoon was spent investigating how I’m going to shave 12mm from two cupboard doors I’m installing in the basement to cover the electricity meter & consumer unit. I can either take 3mm off each side of both doors, or take 6mm of one edge of both doors. I bought a Black & Decker Workmate a few months ago, and I’d just like to state for the record that I whole heartedly regret ever laying eyes on it. I feel my fingers are at risk of being sliced off every time I have to unfold or collapse it. Whatever I’m trying to do the holes for the orange plastic material clamps are in the wrong place. The two wood surfaces don’t seem to be flat and level. Eve...

The combination of an excess of heat in the office and a shortfall of sleep has left me struggling to stay alert this morning. I'm starting to get pains in my right wrist which are very reminiscent of the RSI symptoms I've suffered in the past. It hurts when I try to manipulate the mouse, and it hurts now typing this on my PDA. Lymphedema and RSI in the same arm would be a serious issue. I'll have to mention it at my next clinic appointment. I dashed away from my desk the moment the clock ticked to 12pm, desperate to inject some movement and sunshine into my day in a bid to re-energise. I'm sitting in the shade in Paternoster Square letting my eyes soak up the rays without broiling in direct sunlight. It is a gorgeous day. On a day like today with its basking heat and bleaching sun, Paternoster Square reminds me of Piazza del Campidoglio in Rome. Of course we Brits are distinctly less well dressed than the Italians, and Michelangelo had nothing to do with the design of ...

This morning we are blessed with rain, the 'doesn't look like much, but soaks you to the bone' type. I really fancied a full cooked breakfast this morning, so I attempted to find a restaurant called 'Roast' in Borough Market which a colleague had recommended. Eventually, quite soaked, I tracked it down. I checked out the menu by the door - £15 for the full breakky. Hmmm. Ok. But when I tried the door - locked. So what is that about? I'm now in Eat, having a latte and an eggs benedict muffin. It isn't quiet hitting the spot, and I made a tactical error by saying yes when asked if I wanted sauce. I'm eating a muffin which tastes of HP with hints of egg and bacon. That's just so wrong. A chap has just parked his bike up and come in. If you were short sighted you might think '20 something courier', but taking a close look you see something pretty incongruous. He's dressed the part, right down to his socks, but the face has seen 40+ ye...

The train gets busy at Peterborough as per usual. A business type in a pinstripe suit sits next to me, and starts to read "Complete Triathlon!" My iPod comes out when he starts chewing gum noisily. His jaws work away, mouth open. "Schmack, schmack, schemack." Yeuck. Is this some new endurance training regimen? ♪♫♪ "She always had this twisted side to her." ♫♪♫ As soon as the music fills my ears, I become aware that someone is wearing a sickly sweet coconut scent. Perhaps the chewing noises would be preferable?

I've made it to Cafe Nero for my morning coffee without enduring agony, despite the usual sardine situation on the train which was further compounded by cancellations and emergency engineering works. I was wearing a pair of Crocs this morning hoping they would prove more comfortable than the black flat lace-up 6x wide comfy shoes I wear in the office. They have proven themselves and will now form part of my usual commuting attire. The burgundy Crocs make quite a sartorial statement, contrasting as they do with my otherwise formal attire. The subject of personality tests came up at work yesterday, and I got to see the Barnum Effect in action as Adam put our characters in the spotlight with a test based on our artistic representations of a scene containing all the following elements: house; road; tree; snake; lake; sun; snake. From this rather hilarious conclusions emerged as to our ego, relationship with each parent, friends, and sex drive. Tish had us deciding which animal best rep...

Another week, another train from Leeds to London. Perhaps because of the ash, but the train is busier than usual. Several business types are conducting conference calls. I think I'd prefer screaming babies. Time for the iPod. ♪♫♪ "I can't seem to face up to the facts, I'm tense and nervous and I can't relax." ♫♪♫ Seems appropriate, but the iPod's offerings on shuffle are frequently disconcerting. The ole Barnum Effect perhaps. I'm hoping I'll truly relax once this afternoon's appointment with the consultant is behind me. The weekend was full of displacement activities. Swabbing the deck, cutting the grass and going bonkers with the strimmer. I even scrubbed the hob and surrounding areas clean, and that has lurked at the bottom of my To Do list for some time. I'm quietly enjoying the no fly restrictions which have emptied the skies. The birdsong seems riotous with nothing to override it. When a helicopter flew over the house yesterday its r...

I'm early boarding the train to London. A woman & baby are the next aboard, settling at the table across the aisle. My heart always sinks a little in these circumstances. There are a wide range of possibilities - the baby sleeping for the whole trip is the most desired, but equally the wee mite may howl and scream for 2 hours. The mum is wibbling away in sweet baby nothings while she gets them settled. The nipper makes like a baby coot, waving arms and going "erk, erk, erk" as they do while they decide if they're unhappy enough to go for a full blown cry. Mum's baby talk is distracting enough to get me reaching for the iPod. It's going to be a journey accompanied my own personal soundtrack. Squeeze, Blockheads, Stranglers and Madness feature on this playlist. ♪♫♪ "Why should you try to be much taller than you are?" ♫♪♫ Meanwhile two ladies in the third age of life sit opposite mum & baby. Much cooing ensues. The train shuffles into movement ...