The Barnum Effect

It's official - I'm going grey. Evidence? One 15cm hair, grey from stem to stern. Using average hair growth rates, I calculate I've been greying for somewhere between 12 to 15 months. I wanted to measure the grey hair which is the only reason I pulled it out. I certainly won't be pulling out any more as 4 good brown hairs were sacrificed in the process. Deep meaningful and profound thoughts on the occasion of this momentous discovery escape me, which I'm sure is a sign of incipient... now then... what's the word... oh yes... I've got it.... senility. Now then. What was I talking about?

Ten years ago I lived just a little way up the road from the youth hostel where I am now. It's strange how strange the town seems to me. It isn't that the town has changed particularly. I guess it's more the realisation that my memories are pretty patchy. The journey here on the train from Liverpool Street was depressingly familiar if only for the generically grubby experience of being on a London commuter service. First there is the depressingly repetitive and meaningless pattern woven into the seat fabric. I couldn't decide if the blobby pattern was of a turkey drumstick, or a pig nose to nose with a mouse. Then there is the splotchy pavement pizza pattern of the floor covering, artfully concealing any actual pavement pizza. Finally there's the view from the window. I'm glad I no longer participate in the London rat race. A little reminder goes a long way.

A thunderstorm was just chasing away the last vestiges of sunshine as I set off home this evening. Driving down the hill the car was bathed in sunshine and drenched in rain as the two weather systems collided. I caught sight of a shallow arced rainbow, across a field to my left, I could see where the rainbow hit the grass, the end drifting across the field as my perspective changed. Turning a corner I saw the rainbow race ahead of me, the descending arc seeming to hang low over the road. With the windscreen wipers working overtime to clear the storm hurled rain, I peered out, trying to keep the moving end of the rainbow in sight, trying to see where it made earth fall. Then just for a second I saw the rainbow stripes glowing up from the wet road directly in front of me. A brief wave of light washed through the car, and the rainbow vanished from sight. What an amazing day. Portents and Omens. They don't get any better than this. I wonder whether I'll be visited by a leprec...

A tang of ozone lingers in the air, even as the thunder cloud drifts west to plague others. Shaking our heads we reflect on the elemental fury we've weathered - who could have predicted it? We all survived intact, though bruised and baffled by the irrational force that upset our simple domesticity. At least the stifling humidity has been blown away. Birdsong fills the air lifting our spirits. The tension that lined our brows and hunched our shoulders begins to evaporate, even as we work to repair the storm damage. As the histrionics fade to history, our thoughts turn to face the future. May we modestly hope for peace, harmony and calm?

Hard to believe we're only a few days on from the spring equinox. The clouds and breeze are absent, leaving us drenched in glorious sunshine. Soaking up the heat, taking in the rays. Ahhh... It's been a great opportunity to spend more time outdoors with Poppy who, depending on circumstances, is also known as Pops, Pop-tart, Popsie, Popsie-doodle, Popsie-diddler, Pop-master, Pop-tastic, Pop-noodle, Poppy-pops, Popsicle, and Monster-Dog: Bemused by the barmy neighbours Strike a pose, let's get to it Favourite hiding spot Captivated by the cavorting neighbours

It's been an age since I last blogged. Plenty of water has flowed under the bridge, but the scenery looks much the same. I became a dog owner for the first time ever, when Poppy came to live with me last September: At about the same time I became a share holder for the first time in years, a topic on which I've recently become quite animated: So how did you get into GKP? So tell me about GKP and the muppet business? So tell me about GKP vs Excalibur? So tell me about the GKP forum trolls?

I've been host to an unexpected house guest these last few days, a little Patterdale Terrier Cross whom I now know as Bruce. I was driving through Meanwood on Sunday afternoon when I saw a van stopped by the side of the road, hazard lights flashing, and the motorist on the pavement bent down holding a small dog whilst making a call on his mobile. I pulled over to see if the chap needed any help. He explained that he'd stopped because he was worried for the dog which he'd seen straying, fearing it would come to harm crossing the busy roads. He'd called the police who weren't interested, and he'd called the dog warden to be told they don't collect strays at the weekend. The motorist was stuck, he couldn't put a dog in the van as he was on his way to a job, but neither could he just leave the dog to fend for itself, and so the dog came home with me. He was well behaved and calm in my car, but when we got to my house he was understandably unsettled. I...

I’ve been maintaining radio silence for a wee while now, but today I’m free to wax lyrical. Well, I say I’m free, but I suppose I’m only as free insomuch as anyone is truly free, given the behaviours we must forgo in order to participate in a social community. For instance I’m not free to murder, maim or create mayhem. Alas. On the plus side I get to reap the benefits of participating in civilisation, and this should not be underestimated. Imagine a world where there was no cooperation, where it was each person for themselves. You could take what you want from anyone else, as long as you had the might to take it, and the strength to keep it, but would there be anything worth taking in such a world?   We cooperate on a massive scale to produce even the most humble of objects. A door is simple thing, but if I had to make a door from first principles with no assistance how would I fair? I’d need to chop down a tree, so first I’d need to make an axe.  I could go stone age, and ...

Good luck to the crew of the Atlantis now on approach for landing at Florida! To all the people who've contributed to the Space Shuttle program from inception to its final mission ending today - thank you for taking humanity forward. Let us hope that these small steps into space will lead to bigger strides into the galaxy. Live coverage

I'm in the calm at the centre of the storm. I've been badly buffeted by the storm's arrival, and there will be more distress before it's over, but just now I'm enjoying the respite. Ordinarily I'm so tired, caught up in the drudgery of working and commuting, that I fail to raise my head and take in the scenery. Today, my mind is settled, and I'm at peace. In this oasis all things seem to sparkle with intense vibrancy under the solstice sun. A premonition of incipient nostalgia perhaps. This brief moment in time feels like a gift. One last chance to value what I have before it becomes what I had.

The sparrows, starlings, blackbirds and goldfinches all seem to have had a successful year judging by the number of batty baby birds flitting around my garden. Yesterday the fledglings were vibrating their wings and chirping for food, but today the parents are using the "monkey see, monkey do" educational technique to teach their demanding offspring how to forage for themselves. There is something utterly charming about the young birds, their feathers all fluffy and ruffled, with their inelegant and haphazard flights from perch to perch, often landing on the flimsiest of branches which oscillate wildly under their weight.

I was up at 5:30am to meet my dad and his dog Jessie for a walk around the lake at Roundhay Park. As is often the case at that time of day, the sky was clear, though rain has threatened since. There wasn't a whisper of wind and the lake reflected park and sky perfectly. The view had the makings of a fine one thousand piece jigsaw. Back home, after a little breakfast, I caught up on some telly on the BBC iPlayer. On a whim I watched Wonderland - The Trouble With Love and Sex . I hadn't seen an episode of Wonderland before, so I didn't know what to expect. I was quite taken with the concept - the voices belonged to real people who'd agreed to be taped during their counselling sessions at Relate, and the footage was a cartoon interpretation. It was insightful to listen to these sessions, with the nuances of body language and expression heightened by the cartoon characters, seeing them immersed at times in the imagery from their psyche. There was a point in the document...

Barack Obama today announced that US ground forces have killed Osama Bin Laden. Will this make the world a safer place? I suspect not - bloody retaliation from Al-Qaeda seems more likely. I would not be surprised if the UK threat level increases from Severe to Critical in the next week or two. Will it save Obama's presidency, and give him a second term in office? I hope so. While unpopular at home, Obama is still well thought of outside the US, where we continue to enjoy the pleasant novelty of an American president whose IQ is larger than his shoe size.

The threats of the unions to organise strike action to coincide with the Royal Wedding came to naught in the end. One suspects that some shady part of the establishment brought pressure to bear on the union leaders, or perhaps they realised that their proletariat workers are actually rather fond of the monarchy. The day was free from terrorist atrocities too, all credit to our spooks and law enforcement agencies. The wedding was streamed live on the YouTube Royal Channel, gloriously free of inane commentary, but the frame rate gradually decreased, until it ground to an ignominious halt just as the bride arrived at the Abbey. The BBC News website was similarly afflicted. I flipped across to the CNN website whose video stream wasn't affected by network congestion. After a pretty standard Church of England wedding ceremony, the newly-wed couple left the Abbey with the orchestra playing Sir William Walton's "Crown Imperial" march written in 1937 for the coronation...

It's funny how sometimes the origin of a phrase suddenly comes into sharp focus. Looking out of the window just now I spotted two Wood Pigeons sitting together all cosy on the fence. One was pecking at the neck of the other, and I thought 'aye-aye - I know what he wants, randy ole pigeon.' I stood and watched them a while, and saw that they were taking it in turns to groom each other around the head - the only spot on their own body they can't groom for themselves. They then started rubbing their heads together, and I thought 'ahh, how nice, just like young lovebirds.' That was the light bulb moment. I'd never thought about the origin of the phrase 'lovebirds' nor ever had any image of courting birds in my mind whenever I've had cause to use the phrase. This might be because I've never before witnessed this gentle side of bird courtship - I'm far more used to the Rock Pigeons in London where the male aggressively harasses the female t...

I have a large area of decking at the back of the house, which was constructed by the previous incumbent. Ground level drops away from the front of the house to the back, so what is ground level at the front is one storey up at the back. The decking was built on 2m stilts in order to be level with the 'ground floor' of the house. I've never seen anything like it, and I'm sure the neighbours weren't best impressed when it was put up. This time last year I wrote that I'd been swabbing the decking. I did intend to apply an oil to the deck afterwards, but wet weather and a tree releasing a tonne of fluffy floaty seeds which coated every surface conspired to put me off. I've had that tree pruned, so there would be no seeds to scupper my plans this year. I spent last weekend cleaning the decking with a pressure washer, and it is now ready for the oil. We've had beautiful weather all week while I've been stuck at work in London. I've been avidly che...

A piece on the BBC News website titled Dib, dib, dib...Scouts offer sex education scheme caught my eye this morning. Scout's honour - this is the photo that accompanied the article: Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, fnarr-fnarr, ooh-err crikey missus. Do you think he's already got his badge? Know what I mean? Eh? Eh? I was getting my current affairs fix this afternoon when I noticed the article had been updated with a new picture: Ah well, all good things must come to an end. Sigh.

Rail delays after body discovered Nightmare journeys for tens of thousands of travellers. Far worse of course for the person killed and their family. My sympathies to them.

As I left my house one morning I noticed a football lodged high in the branches of my shrubbery. Nothing particularly unique about that - the boys next door are all footy mad. Then I noticed my lovely lilac tree lying on the lawn, broken at the base of the trunk. It was the juxtaposition of the two that caused my eyebrows to rise. My mind's eye played a ghostly video reconstruction of events in CSI style. Ball gets lodged in shrubbery, boy tries to gain extra height to reach said ball by climbing the lilac, only it promptly breaks under his weight, and the boy jumps clear as the tree crashes earthward.. This is pure speculation of course. It could well be that the tree came down in high winds. We had some strong winds a few days before this happened, although not between the time I last saw it standing and when I saw it felled. Did it fall or was it pushed? Needless to say, no young lads rang my bell to sheepishly admit they'd accidentally killed one of my trees. This...

Perhaps it was post-christmas shopping deprivation, or a need to spend a little on myself before the cost-of-living and tax increases suck my wallet dry, but whatever impelled me I had a wee buying frenzy on Amazon the other day. Normally I'm extremely adverse to buying gadgets for the kitchen, as they typically end up gathering dust after the novelty wears off. Bread and ice cream makers, electric carving knives and pepper mills, fondue sets and chocolate fountains. Lets be honest, who doesn't have a little herd of white elephants looking sad and unloved at the back of a cupboard? I started off innocently enough, looking for a handheld vacuum to do my stairs. Having picked one with dozens of glowing reviews I added it to my basket. This is where it all went horribly wrong. Amazon showed me one of those "People who bought this, also bought...." lists. Before I knew it I'd added two other items that I didn't know I needed to my order. A big Amazon parcel ...