Both breasty-dumplings

A little over 18 months ago I had my ovaries and fallopian tubes whipped out. In two days I'll say goodbye to both breasty-dumplings, with a double mastectomy.

Image result for blackadder breasty dumplings

8 years ago I wondered on this blog:

How would I feel if I went down the free-martin path and said goodbye to ovaries and breasts? Once done there is no turning back. Answers on a postcard to...

I'm now on the verge of finding out. Will I wake up one morning suddenly feeling released from fear when the cancerous Sword of Damocles hangs over me no more? Will I mourn the loss of my breasty-dumplings? Will I revel in being free of the bouncy bits and take up jogging? Or will life continue much as before?

Cancer in 2001 reduced left-breasty dumpling to a B, whereas cancer in 2008 resulted in right-breasty dumpling growing to a FF. So I'll certainly be glad to lose the lopsidedness.

I'm going flat - no reconstruction for me. I will not subject an innocent part of my anatomy to the surgeon's knife in order to construct a pair of foobs. I feel no need to conform to societal expectations regarding my shape. Flat will be fine for me, thank you very much.

I've been thinking about my gender identity recently. Not what dangly bits I have or my genetics, but who I am. I certainly don't feel my gender is being changed by the oophorectomies and mastectomies. The surgery is just triggering an internal debate about my gender. Up to press I've simply allowed society to decide for me - I was born female - I've led my life up to now as a woman. I've not been a very "girly" person. I've been more tom-boy in behaviour and dress. While I haven't wanted to be a man neither have I felt overwhelmingly glad to be a woman. So this surgery is making me ponder. Can I be neuter?

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