The Barnum Effect

I'm in a dark place. Storm clouds have rolled in to block out the sunlight, leaving the world tinged in that sickly yellow light that precedes a thunderstorm. Gulls circle overhead, and beneath me the waters swirl in a vortex that threatens to suck me deep into the maelstrom, where I would surely drown. Suddenly, my folly laid bare, I realise the ocean despises me and will not tolerate me to stay in its demesne. The strong might be allowed to swim its waters, but the weak and ill are fools to believe the sea to be as supportive as it appears. You might paddle in the shallow bay awhile, rising with the gentle swell, but tarry too long and the sea will test you, falter and the riptide is merciless. I had been so sad and lonely on the beach, watching my friends swimming back and forth, slowly recovering from the grievous injury that had washed me ashore. Fear and longing held me immobile for the longest time. 'Come in, you can do it,' urged the swimmers. So I dove into t

With my scientific background and logical mind I'm practically duty bound to denounce horoscopes as so much bunk and twaddle. Indeed, I have no problem doing so. Horoscopes epitomise the Barnum Effect. Here a few Scorpio horoscopes I’ve pulled together from the internet, covering the week and month ahead: http://www.cainer.com/weekly/scorpiot.html Think about how hard you have worked. How much effort you have invested. Has it all paid off? Of course not. Nothing we ever do is 100 per cent successful. It's the same with the money we spend. Not every penny can be parted with wisely, no matter how frugal we try to be. We either accept this or we drive ourselves insane in an effort to achieve unattainable perfection. Now, think of an aspiration that you are all but ready to give up on; a campaign that you have lost faith in. Put more energy into your great dream this week, it won't all work out... but some of it will. http://www.homepagers.com/daily/scorpio.html You are

In the red corner we have the Union movement, an old bruiser whose glory days are decades in the past, needing a big win to stave off extinction. The unions come from the cage fighting school of boxing. No rules and the last man standing wins. In the blue corner we have the Conservative government, using the dire economic situation to green light all the swingeing cuts to public services they've ever dreamt of. The government prefers to play by the Queensbury rules of boxing. As far as the authorities were concerned Arthur Scargill rather ruined the sport when he just didn't have the decency to know when to stay down, and changed the law to cramp the style of any future Scargill wannabes. The days of general strikes and mass pickets may be legally curtailed, but the unions are beginning to realise they can pick strike dates that, just by chance, coincide with action by their sister organisations in other industries. Socialist politics are typically republican in outlook, it

Perhaps it was post-christmas shopping deprivation, or a need to spend a little on myself before the cost-of-living and tax increases suck my wallet dry, but whatever impelled me I had a wee buying frenzy on Amazon the other day. Normally I'm extremely adverse to buying gadgets for the kitchen, as they typically end up gathering dust after the novelty wears off. Bread and ice cream makers, electric carving knives and pepper mills, fondue sets and chocolate fountains. Lets be honest, who doesn't have a little herd of white elephants looking sad and unloved at the back of a cupboard? I started off innocently enough, looking for a handheld vacuum to do my stairs. Having picked one with dozens of glowing reviews I added it to my basket. This is where it all went horribly wrong. Amazon showed me one of those "People who bought this, also bought...." lists. Before I knew it I'd added two other items that I didn't know I needed to my order. A big Amazon parcel

The doorbell just rang, which is unusual as I don't generally have casual callers at this time in the evening, so I raced down the stairs to answer the door. When I opened it I was faced with a young woman and a girl in Woodland Trust tabards. They both waved their arms and chimed "Hello!" immediately followed with the woman chirping "Aw, don't you look cute with your hair in a little bob!" "Would you mind not patronising me on my own doorstep and tell me why you're calling?" I responded. You can tell I wasn't best pleased. I'm never happy to be called to the door by chuggers , but I'm damned if I'll be insulted by cold callers. It might have been a suitable greeting if a toddler had opened the door, but it's just a teeny weeny bit inappropriate for anyone over the age of five. She seemed non-plussed by my directness, and launched into the usual chugger routine of asking questions that demand a "yes" response,

Astronomy was scuppered by meteorology today as clouds obscured last night's Quadrantid meteor shower and this morning's partial solar eclipse. To add insult to injury I didn't feel the 3.6 magnitude earthquake which hit Yorkshire yesterday. We've had an uncanny number of portents and omens in the last month. In addition to meteors, solar eclipse and earthquake, we had an eclipse of the moon on the winter solstice which has not occurred in nigh on 500 years. On New Years Eve 3000 blackbirds fell dead from the sky in Arkansas, while 125 miles away 100,000 drum fish washed up dead. The end of days? Today we're intellectually curious about these events, but in less enlightened days we would have been disturbed, fearful even, and looking around for a suitable sacrifice to appease the obviously angry Gods. I might be hard pressed to pick just one person if someone had to be ritually slayed. We have so many figures we love to hate who would do nicely. Politicians ar

Last night, as the clock struck midnight, revellers all across Leeds set off fireworks. After the fireworks faded, the sky gradually filled with Flying Chinese Lanterns, which drifted south east across the city, forming orange constellations of hopes and dreams in the clear night sky.